I'm entering my Junior year of college isn't that crazy? I'm going to have a roommate, Allie, I couldn't be more excited on rooming with her. We just click, she's the biggest NY Yankees fan and I am the biggest NY Giants fan. Im hoping to make a her a bigger Giants fan and you never know she might make me a Yankees fan!
As parents should, mine have been nagging me about making a plan for my future. To me though it feels forever away, but truthfully I know it's not. I think I'm just terrified a little bit, don't get me wrong I'm excited to see what it holds. I feel like Peter Pan sometimes I never wanna grow up, but also I cannot wait for it. So lately I've been thinking more seriously about it and I think I have an outline to a plan. Want to hear it? 1) Graduate with my bachelors degree at SUNY Delhi (currently in progress) 2) Go to the Disney Program Fall of 2016 3) Save my money while in Disney for an apartment for afterwards because I plan on staying down south when I complete the program. 4) While I'm down in Disney, go to interviews in the area, or somewhere down south, for a good job. 5) If all goes according to the plan I will have a job, I know it may not be the best one, but work my way up. I will have an apartment. 6) Live my life the way I want to, and always remind myself to be happy. So how does my plan sound to you? What did do you when you graduated college? How did you get to where you are now? Please tell me!
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I am such a terrible blogger. So lets see what happened:
I went to Maryland! I have no clue how I forgot to write about this! I'm sure most of you read Julie's blog and heard all about my amazing trip. Of course the one time I travel by myself, we have one of the biggest snowstorm. So my original flight was delayed in a hour and 1/2. So Julie and Matt were so wonderful and rearranged their plans so I could arrive earlier. I arrived and they made me feel at home right away. I enjoyed getting a different point of view of CCMS, I got to see someone with it and see maybe how my parents were with me when I was Abby's age. I feel as if Ab and I have a strong connection, she is young but she understands. One of my favorite memories was me with Abby's cousin Anna, (same age) was sitting on my lap and Abby pushed her off so she could sit on my lap. I couldn't thank Julie and Matt enough for that experience. I had the best semester of my life. I made new friends, fought with some and made up. My grades weren't as good but still good! I will have a roommate next year and I am so excited! I cannot wait for school to come. This summer instead of being a housekeeper (if you read last year you know I hated that), I am a hostess. I absolutely love it, and most of my co-workers with an exception of a few (wherever I will work in my future there will always be people I don't like). One night though it was awful. Two people this specific night flat out asked me how old I was. I was taken back so much, because here I am professionally dress and acting like a women and they ask me. I laughed and smiled and said "I'm 19". I was kinda in a bad mood that night, and my boss could tell. I figured he would tell me "Em, you just have to ignore it". He took me back because he told me to tell them "You never ask a women's age". I liked that! The past two weeks were exhausting! We went to Italy the last week of June, and came back two days before my birthday! I'm getting a computer with more storage, so once I get the pictures on it, I'll post some for you all to see! I survived. After a terrible cold and having back pain on top of it, it was not a good time for me. I don't get colds or sick like that, and I have to admit I was baby about it. I haven't had pain in my back since like two weeks, I'm so incredibly happy over that. Although my doctor said I could go months without pain and then have days or weeks with it. All of my life I have lived in the moment and thats what I am doing, I am relaxing and not worrying about the pain coming back.
However I am counting down the days until Thanksgiving and Christmas Break. Only two more full weeks of school till Thanksgiving Break, and once I come back after that two weeks of classes and then finals break! I cannot believe how fast this semester is flying by! I think it flew by because I have made a new amazing friend, who I hang out with all of the time. I'm not spending every night alone anymore waiting for morning to come. She has became easily one of my best friends. I hope everyone is doing well! Talk to you all soon! I’m a seventeen year old who wears a hearing aide, has no heels and can’t put my palms face up (look at the picture, to understand what I’m saying) and my collarbone is sticking out 3 quarters of an inch on one side. I have had several surgeries in my short seventeen years of life that were absolutely necessary to have. If I didn’t have those surgeries I may not be sitting on my laptop writing this post. So I write to you guys asking you your opinion, what would you do?
To fix my hearing issues I could do the cochlear implant (CI). It is a surgically implanted electronic device that provides a sense of sound to a person who is profoundly deaf or severely hard of hearing. The negative about this surgery is that there is a major risk to it. I’m not completely deaf; I just have a severe hearing lost. I do go sometimes without my hearing aide when it is broken and when we don’t have batteries in the house. Basically that means the TV is blaring where everyone in the house can hear it from upstairs. Plus I also say “what” constantly, which probably gets on everyone’s nerves. The pros are is I don’t have to worry about not having hearing aide batteries and I don’t have to wear a stupid old headband every single day. So tell me would you do the cochlear implant? I could have surgery to get heels. But would it really be worth it, what if I could never walk again? It’s already a miracle that I can walk without any heels. Would it really be worth sitting in a wheel chair for wearing really cute sandals with backs on them? I currently have trouble finding comfortable shoes, I can’t wear converse, sandals with backs and sneakers are hard to find, but once I find shoes my problem is solved. Obviously you can see that I easily become frustrated while shopping for shoes. So tell me would you have surgery to make you have heels? I could have surgery to be able to move my palms so they can face up. But I can move my arms and I can write (may I say it’s pretty neat handwriting). Even though when cashiers hand me back change it’s a little hard to receive it. Is it really worth it? What if I lose all ability to be able move my arms at all? Would it really be worth it just so I can be able to face my palms up? So tell me would have surgery so you could be able to face your palms upward? I could have surgery to fix my collarbone, so it’s not sticking out. Although it doesn’t hurt me, it’s more of on the annoying side. When people first see it, especially little kids, they always ask “What is that little thing sticking out?” It bothers me in more of a cosmetic way, it’s just annoying.I am reluctant to wear tank tops in the summer. It’s a simple as people wanting to get a mole removed from their face. It doesn’t affect them at all it’s just for their self-confidence. Maybe If I don’t have that collarbone sticking out would I feel more self-confident? So tell me would you have surgery to fix your collarbone sticking out? All of these surgeries have great risk, so should I risk what I have now? I have realized to embrace myself the way I am, but there’s still parts of me that wishes I could be more “normal” looking. So please give me your opinions, if your child had these problems would you let them do the surgeries, or even if you had these problems yourself would your risk it? “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” -Maria Robinson
Change happens no matter what, there's no way around it. It may be good or bad, but we don't know until it happens. Some people love change but others are reluctant to it. For me it depends on the change, getting my hair cut is a good change but going to college, I'm worried about. Don't get me wrong I'm so happy about going away to college, I been dreaming about being independent for as long as I can remember. But I don't like the fact that right now while I'm writing this I have no idea who I will be living with next year. You would think that overcoming so many obstacles like I have that change is easy for me, but it's not. I like high school now; I know who my true friends are. I know almost everyone in my senior year class of over 300 hundred, we been together for four years now and plus three years of middle school. It’s weird to think that I won't see their face every single day. They have accepted me for whom I am, they treat me like everyone else does. I'm worried about going to college and having to start all over again. Having oxygen at night, I will start off my first semester having a single room. I'm worried that people will take that the wrong way and not understand the real me. Will that affect me making friends? I'm shy at first and it takes a while for me to open up, so I'm worried that if I don’t start trying to make friends right away that college won't be the way I have imagined it to be. I'm also worried about losing touch with my friends from high school. I know for a fact that I would never lose my best friend, Nicole, we been friends since 4th grade and inseparable ever since. We been through everything together, she's always been on my side and I'm always there for her. She's the first person who accepted me for who I am, and I will be forever grateful for that. I don't worry about losing her but I do worry about losing in touch with others. I don't like letting go of things and starting over but I guess if it's going to happen I'm going to stand up as tall as I can (I'm only 4'6, so not that tall) but I'll raise my head high and always try to have a smile on my face. That's what my parents have taught me to do. They always have told me to not worry what other people think. I'm finally starting to understand what they meant by that. |
AuthorI'm just trying to be a normal twenty-six year old in this crazy thing called life. Living with cerebro costo mandibular syndrome, living just like everyone else. Archives
February 2015
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